HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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