My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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