You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Screwed.edu
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Randomize
