Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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