He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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