No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize