the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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