So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I didn't shave. On purpose
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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