i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
