Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
