Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
