I don't usually arrange sex via text message
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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