I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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