just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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