i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
