somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
