The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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