Barsexuality is the new black.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
