Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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