I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize