Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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