Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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