Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
