I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He did a backflip because drugs
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize