I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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