I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
