so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
