You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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