GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize