Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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