Heybabeimwearingurpanties
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
