The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
