you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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