You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
