I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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