apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
