and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
