The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
