let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
