our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Can you bring me the toilet please
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
