i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
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