What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
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