I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Randomize
