you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
