The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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