Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
