I want to stick my p in your. b.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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