he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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