bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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