you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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