its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You may now shotgun with the bride
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
