she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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