PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
