i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
