Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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