'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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