I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
