I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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