proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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