He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
