who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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