He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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