had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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