Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Randomize
