I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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