I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize