So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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