I'm gonna have a badass scar
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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