Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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