and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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