Please don't use social media to get back at me.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
