My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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