but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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